So I had a meeting with (name drop coming) Dennis Prager this afternoon up near the L.A. neighborhood of Eagle Rock, but also had told the good people at Huffington Post Live that I'd accept their gracious offer to webcam in for a segment.
1) What the internet is
2) How to get the necessary webcam program either on or extracted off of on my Android phone
3) What room in the place I was meeting Dennis at I could use to sit in for 30 minutes and pretend to know what I'm talking about
4) Would this "internet" be available in the "wireless" way at said meeting place
5) Would I be done with Mr. Prager by the prescribed time of 2:45pm (for a 3:00pm start-time to the show)
Well, after learning that the "wireless" is not an old-fashioned British transistor radio, and getting verification that I would have the room, internet capability and solitude to be on Huff Post Live, I left for the meeting.
Smash-cut to 2:40 and I'm being told there is no internet, my phone starts to freeze on me, and someone says, "I think there's a Starbucks down the street with free wireless."
Keep in mind it's roughly "surface-of-the-sun" degrees outside and I'm still recovering from absolutely wrecking my lower back playing tennis last week. My back is so bad, I couldn't tie my own shoes this morning (or any morning in the past 8 or so).
So I hobble as quickly as a full-figured, bearded Swedish fellow can to my car, drove to the Starbucks parking lot and immediately realized that if the people in the studio at HuffPost Live were going to be able to hear me at all, I'd have to pull a self-induced Shadrach, Moellershach and Abednego by rolling my widows up while sitting in a Dodge Intrepid that hasn't worked properly since Third Eye Blind was a relevant musical voice.
Longer story, slightly shorter...I arrive late to the webcam party and do my best not to embarrass my parents or American Enterprise Institute (who I was representing). And whenever I see my face isn't the one viewers are seeing, I am using what quickly became a "damp" polo shirt to mop my furrowed brow.
It all worked out in the end, and the important thing is I got Chipotle on my way home.
Have a nice weekend, people!